The Sovereign Republic of Potato
The Sovereign Republic of Potato is a trade-based international dictatorship which claims to have land borders within the entirety of Earth, yet it's only globally recognized property is a small home in the middle of Nevada. It claims to have existed before the dawn of man. The entirety of the nation's populous has no arms, or tongue, making them all incapable of communication and as so extremely damaging the national GDP and GPD per capita. The Republic's existance is only recognized by the Roman Catholic Church, Morocco, and reportedly secessionist Crimea and Donetsk. Government The government of the Sovereign Republic of Potato is a military dictatorship with 99.38% of it's national budget going towards military expense and cattle feed. It is almost entirely ruled by the brutal dictator, King Lord Abu-Dhabi Sultan Emirate Successionist King Leader Daniel Thompson. The vast majority of the nation's decisions are made by the parliament, or, the "Ultimate Roundtable of Awesome Things, Along with Cattle Feed and Ash Trays." Reportedly, said parliament building is housed in the center of the capital city, SHONGWANGORGANDONORPOTATOLACKOFARMS City. The capital is reportedly located on the Eastern Seaboard of the United States province. Economy The Sovereign Republic of Potato's economy is trade based, with roughly $227 USD in imports per day, mostly in electronics, gold, automobiles, natural gas, and lubricants. The US government attempted to embargo trade on the Republic due to multiple attempts of purchase of Enriched Uranium, Retired Soviet Ballistic Missile Delivery Systems, European slaves, and Pornography. The country has no exports. National GDP is expected to be around $3,902 USD, the lowest of any sovereign nation since the existance of the "Republic" denomonym and government type. The government charges no taxes, as there is no way for people without arms to file taxes or even make bank accounts, so it's income is roughly based on outside influence and foreign work and donations via online services. Population Living The majority of the population resides in SHONGWANGORGANDONORPOTATOLACKOFARMS City. The entire nation has an estimated population of about 105, but the nation's chief census director, Mittens the Kitty, has reported the population to be roughly 6-7 billion people. The GPD per capita is about $6 USD, making the Sovereign Republic of Potato the poorest nation on Earth, with most living on roughly 50 cents to a dollar a day. Almost everyone who resides within the Republic eats nothing but cattle feed and drinks water from ancient canals. The government has denied all requests for American Red Cross assistance, stating that "self sufficiency is required, not asked. We don't need help from any damn Americans." Liberties and Civil Rights Seeing as how the Sovereign Republic of Potato has no directly defined constitution, civil liberties are unknown. It has been reported by people who have claimed to visit the Republic that the majority of it's people are enslaved using brain implants. This claim has yet to be verified. Geography The Sovereign Reublic of Potato is predominantly a desert country, with often hot, arid plains and mountain ranges. Within it's land claims lie a vastly diverse amount of wildlife and lush greeneries. Military The military of the Sovereign Republic of Potato is unknown. A number of estimates have suggested that the Republic has no military, as it's economy cannot sustain one and it's people are unable to communicate or perform basic tasks due to the lack of arms or tongues. In spite of this, however, the Republic's apparent Head General Flambazo Hibabi has claimed that their military consists of nearly 3,500,000 enslaved "Armless Warriors." Their armaments are unknown, but are reportedly just axes taped to their arm wounds. It has been reported as well that the Republic's military has been funded, but not supplied, by Iran and North Korea. Both nations have quickly denied this claim, both literally stating that "our people need the money more than this dickhead does." Temporary siege and occupation On Thursday, April 24th, 2014, the Sovereign Republic of Potato was invaded by Nevada National Guard troops following a nuclear arms threat from the Republic. National Guard troops stormed the alleged headquarters of King Lord Abu-Dhabi Sultan Emirate Successionist King Leader Daniel Thompson, who, while inside and surrounded, feared and cried for his life. It was reported by one of the guardsmen who took part in the siege that "he cried on the ground, and even offered us Hot Pockets for his life, even though all we were going to do was negotiate." Battle 30 minutes after the arrival of the Nevada National Guard, it was reported that 7 armless and tongueless "humanoids" began furiously charging at the soldiers, with axes taped to their chests. 14 of the guardsmen were killed, and 31 were injured. The entire division was presumed dead and their bodies have not yet been recovered. This would eventually lead to the US invasion and occupation of the Republic's territory. Occupation 17 days after the incident, which promptly became known as "the Battle of Vegetable Freedom," US reserve forces from the 197th Infantry Division stormed the compound, killing 41 armless warriors and injuring 76 on the roof. King Lord Abu-Dhabi Sultan Emirate Successionist King Leader Daniel Thompson was successfully captured and negotiations took place. He returned to power 73 days later and US reserve troops allowed the armless warriors and their leader back into the Republic. Following the end of the occupation, armless warriors and their leader reportedly managed to hold a "victory parade" on the cul de sac in front of their nation. 3 armless children were trampled by the armless warrior divisions.